A Slump
Ok, I think I have been in a slump for about a year now. And the past few days I finally took some action and have started to pull myself out.
Last year at this time was just horrible and I never quite spun out of it. To give a little background. I had a four month old baby and found out I could no longer breastfeed and Emmy wasn't taking to a bottle (a little stressed out about that). Emmy being my third just added an entire dimension to our little family and I just wasn't able to handle it or more I wasn't willing to face the fact I didn't know how to deal with three kids on my own. I had the cabin winter blues due to endless snow. I had only been in my home three months and really had no local friends and I grew up in Salt Lake. I hadn't really a friend nearby and as much as it was awesome to live near family, I was beginning to find it to hard to adjust to all the demands and wants. I was really unorganized, stressed and just trying to make it through the day. Well making it through a day at a time is a very stressful and idle way to live.
Well I've been doing that for about a year and a received a real big wake-up call the other day when discussing finances. I know, how can finances be a wake-up call. But there it is, it was my wake-up call. I realized that there is no organization to my life. Everything has been spiraling out of control and I was no longer swimming, I had drown and was unconscious.
In metaphor, "I am now recuperating in the hospital after a near fatal drowning". I spent a few days trying to figure out what needs to be done.
First - I had to buy myself a mommy purse. Not a diaper bag, a real purse that I can put things in. I know it sounds lame, but there is a point that you have to give in and realize you are a full time mother and this is just one of those things for me. Checked that off my list on Saturday.
Second - I went back and wondered why things went so well the year before we came out here and realized I had an organized system. I had a schedule. A flexible schedule, but alas a regular schedule. - Sunday night I spent an hour pouring over what I need to do each week, what I want to do and structure it. I've been doing that for two day's now and I see a huge difference already in myself, my children.
Third - exercise and eating healthy. I use to exercise daily. That went out the window the day we moved back to Utah. I wanted to jump back into things, but clubs here are expensive and frankly the take you for a ride with the babysitting. Boy do I miss a good YMCA. I know make it a priority and I am. I haven't quite started the exercising, but a group of old friends have come together to do a no sugar diet. In just a week I feel my energy coming back and instead of shoving a few pieces of candy down so that my tummy is satisfied while I get my kids something to eat. I prepare along with them and eat with them (now that I have a schedule its easier to do this). To get back into running, swimming and biking I have to get up in mornings. For right now I'm easing into getting up at 6:00 am instead of my normal 7:30. So far so good! Keep crossing my fingers on that.
Fourth - I needed to put religion as a priority instead of something just to do. Now that I'm in Utah I find that I'm not as "needed" in a ward anymore. It was a good break this last year, but I'm finding I need that "need". I'm starting to read my scriptures again, and do FHE, even though its just me and the kids. Its been great and I feel the spirit starting to want to be back in my home.
Fifith - Balance my hobbies. I love to do almost everything there is to sewing. Its just that I can't seem to say no to something and so as with everything else. I had to organize my sewing/craft closet just to see what I had bought and what needed to be done. I'm sticking with quilt group as its giving me a goal and gets me inspired to finish something each month. Now that I have a schedule I also have given myself and hour to two hours each day to devote to that and when the time is done, drop it and know I have time scheduled the next day. Boy that has been the best for me just in the last three days! Here is one of the yearly projects I am doing.
With that said, I guess I'm starting my new years resolutions very late. However, I loved my hair dressers stance on resolutions. She doesn't do them! But, instead she makes goals on her birthday and the following year she not only celebrates her birthday, but all the accomplished goals. It makes the birthday a more momentous celebration. So I'm doing the same for my birthday a few months early. I hope next year I can look back at this post and say I did accomplished wonderful goals!
Last year at this time was just horrible and I never quite spun out of it. To give a little background. I had a four month old baby and found out I could no longer breastfeed and Emmy wasn't taking to a bottle (a little stressed out about that). Emmy being my third just added an entire dimension to our little family and I just wasn't able to handle it or more I wasn't willing to face the fact I didn't know how to deal with three kids on my own. I had the cabin winter blues due to endless snow. I had only been in my home three months and really had no local friends and I grew up in Salt Lake. I hadn't really a friend nearby and as much as it was awesome to live near family, I was beginning to find it to hard to adjust to all the demands and wants. I was really unorganized, stressed and just trying to make it through the day. Well making it through a day at a time is a very stressful and idle way to live.
Well I've been doing that for about a year and a received a real big wake-up call the other day when discussing finances. I know, how can finances be a wake-up call. But there it is, it was my wake-up call. I realized that there is no organization to my life. Everything has been spiraling out of control and I was no longer swimming, I had drown and was unconscious.
In metaphor, "I am now recuperating in the hospital after a near fatal drowning". I spent a few days trying to figure out what needs to be done.
First - I had to buy myself a mommy purse. Not a diaper bag, a real purse that I can put things in. I know it sounds lame, but there is a point that you have to give in and realize you are a full time mother and this is just one of those things for me. Checked that off my list on Saturday.
Second - I went back and wondered why things went so well the year before we came out here and realized I had an organized system. I had a schedule. A flexible schedule, but alas a regular schedule. - Sunday night I spent an hour pouring over what I need to do each week, what I want to do and structure it. I've been doing that for two day's now and I see a huge difference already in myself, my children.
Third - exercise and eating healthy. I use to exercise daily. That went out the window the day we moved back to Utah. I wanted to jump back into things, but clubs here are expensive and frankly the take you for a ride with the babysitting. Boy do I miss a good YMCA. I know make it a priority and I am. I haven't quite started the exercising, but a group of old friends have come together to do a no sugar diet. In just a week I feel my energy coming back and instead of shoving a few pieces of candy down so that my tummy is satisfied while I get my kids something to eat. I prepare along with them and eat with them (now that I have a schedule its easier to do this). To get back into running, swimming and biking I have to get up in mornings. For right now I'm easing into getting up at 6:00 am instead of my normal 7:30. So far so good! Keep crossing my fingers on that.
Fourth - I needed to put religion as a priority instead of something just to do. Now that I'm in Utah I find that I'm not as "needed" in a ward anymore. It was a good break this last year, but I'm finding I need that "need". I'm starting to read my scriptures again, and do FHE, even though its just me and the kids. Its been great and I feel the spirit starting to want to be back in my home.
Fifith - Balance my hobbies. I love to do almost everything there is to sewing. Its just that I can't seem to say no to something and so as with everything else. I had to organize my sewing/craft closet just to see what I had bought and what needed to be done. I'm sticking with quilt group as its giving me a goal and gets me inspired to finish something each month. Now that I have a schedule I also have given myself and hour to two hours each day to devote to that and when the time is done, drop it and know I have time scheduled the next day. Boy that has been the best for me just in the last three days! Here is one of the yearly projects I am doing.
With that said, I guess I'm starting my new years resolutions very late. However, I loved my hair dressers stance on resolutions. She doesn't do them! But, instead she makes goals on her birthday and the following year she not only celebrates her birthday, but all the accomplished goals. It makes the birthday a more momentous celebration. So I'm doing the same for my birthday a few months early. I hope next year I can look back at this post and say I did accomplished wonderful goals!
Comments
I wanted you to know that you're not alone. And that I think you're brave for posting imperfection. It's not easy to say that being a mom isn't easy, if that makes sense. There are so many women who make it look like a cinch, while we deal with 4-month-olds who can't nurse and won't eat from bottles...
This is getting long! Sorry about that. My particular "revelation" came through FlyLady.com. You get a LOT of e-mail and the first time I tried her system (3ish years ago), it was spammy to me... But now I pick through and read a few and it's inspiring that it really is the small and simple things.